


euphoria

by fallfrovmgrace



Series: i love you (kaylor one shots) [1]
Category: Taylor Swift (Musician)
Genre: F/F, taylor is a professional writer and karlie is one of her biggest fan au
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-22
Updated: 2018-09-22
Packaged: 2019-07-15 17:31:52
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 14,514
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16067924
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fallfrovmgrace/pseuds/fallfrovmgrace
Summary: If a writer falls in love with you, you can never die.OrThe story of how famous and romantic author Taylor Swift fell in love with innocent and shy Karlie Kloss, who happens to be one of her biggest fans.





	euphoria

The first thing you noticed about her were the eyes. Electric, cheerful jade green eyes. The most beautiful and breath taking pair of eyes you'd ever seen, and you've seen a lot of them. 

Then, when you escaped from your trance caused by the gorgeous goddess standing and beaming in front of you, you pulled your lips apart in a wide and almost crazy-like smile. She mirrored your action, the corner of her lips turning upwards in the biggest grin, however hers is definitely prettier and more adorable than yours. 

The voice coming out of her mouth is angelic and high pitched as she finally spoke. "Hi!" she exclaimed enthusiastic, reaching out for your hand. "I'm such a fan of your books, you have no idea," she gushed, a crimson red blush appearing on her defined cheeks. After staring blankly at the hand before your face for what seemed like an eternity, you sighed happily and shook it firmly, her smile becoming bigger and bigger, if possible. 

"Thank you, darling," the nickname slipped out of your mouth before you could take it back, but she seemed to appreciate the gesture, as she tucked a strand of beautiful and impossibly soft brunette hair behind her ear. 

"I know it's probably inappropriate because, you know, we're in the middle of a supermarket and you have your shopping cart full of–oh, wow, those are very unhealthy things, but– anyway, I just wanted to ask if you could, maybe, sign this?" the girl showed you a thin book, held between two very gracious hands. "It's my favorite book of yours and it would be an honor to have it signed," she explained after her rambling speech. 

When you lowered your gaze to look at her book – well, technically it's your book, since you wrote it, but, anyway – you realized that her hands were slightly trembling. Without thinking about it too much, you placed your hands over hers, atop the cover of the novel as you looked into her eyes with the most gentle smile. 

"Of course I will sign this for you," you replied softly. A huge smile threatened to overcome her sharp features, but she quickly swallowed it and replaced it with a smaller one instead. "Since I'm a writer, I can never go around without one of my lucky pens in my purse," you tried to joke, but even though you cringed internally at your poor attempt, she seemed to enjoy it and laughed lightly. You felt her attentive stare on yourself as you reached for your bag to grab your special pen, a little thirteen engraved on the small little ivory cap of it. "Here you go," you said after you had signed her copy of your book. She looked like she was about to faint, as she grazed the signature with her index finger as if it were not real. You took this brief moment to analyze better her features but soon your eyes met hers and you blushed deeply as you were clearly caught staring. 

"Thank you so much, you just literally made my day," she stated, staring at the book with new eyes. 

"I wouldn't be nothing without your support. I should be the one thanking you, actually," you answered. She finally took her eyes off the novel and looked up at you, wearing the most lovely smile on her face. 

"You're just so talented, it's almost scary," she chuckled, holding the book close to her chest as if she were afraid of losing or dropping it. Your cheeks hurt from smiling so big, and just as she turned around to continue with her shopping, placing her novel inside her bag safely, you called out for her. 

"Hey!"

The girl turned around with an expectant smile and surprised eyes. 

"I never got your name," you said with a breathy laugh. As she lets out a light chuckle out of her mouth, you spot two girls standing right beside her. Maybe they were her friends and they were waiting for her. Or maybe they were just nosy onlookers that stare at other people with scary smirks on their faces. 

"Karlie. With a K," she replied happily. What a beautiful name for a beautiful girl like her, you thought. "It was nice meeting you, Taylor. I can't wait for the next book,"

You laughed softly as you said quietly. "It was nice meeting you too, Karlie,"

The two girls standing beside her were, in fact, her friends, because as soon as she reunited with them, they started giggling and talking animatedly about what had just happened. You turned around towards your shopping cart, staring at all the unhealthy food with a dreamy smile as you recalled her words. Those are very unhealthy things. You shook your head, the grin overtaking your features never leaving your face as you paid and headed back home to your two cats. 

 

\--------------------------------------------------------------

 

You never stopped thinking about her. 

The adorable smile, the ethereal features and, of course, those splendid jade green eyes. It was as if your mind spun around her like the earth revolves around the sun. Your friends always complained that you fall in love way too easily, as if it were actually your job. However, the girls you really fell head over heels for had been just a few. The first love was a very young one, and you were both inexperienced and too juvenile to understand how a relationship could truly work out. Her name was Emily, and she was older than you. You were seventeen and she was twenty, and your parents still didn't know that your heart could never belong to a boy. When they found out about you, the only one that was actually furious was your father. He had obliged you to break up with her, because apparently you didn't know what love was, he said it was just a phase and that in the future you would regret choosing a girl to marry instead of a boy. The night you and Emilie broke up, you cried yourself to sleep, the sound of your father's voice echoing throughout your mind. 

The second and last love happened four years later and bore the name of Dianna. She was everything and nothing, she gave you everything and nothing, and left you with the broken pieces of your heart to mend alone. When you first met, you had just published your second book, which had given you the fame and success that you have now. When you told your mother about the two of you, you weren't afraid, and she wasn't contrary. She had hugged you with so much strength, and had whispered in your ear how delighted she was for you. Needless to say, she was devastated when one sunny and hot day you came home with tears streaming down your face, telling her that Dianna had left you for another woman. She had held you close against her chest, fearing that all the pieces of your shattered heart would fall to the ground and lost forever.

You never healed from that experience.

The insecurities, the fears and the struggles were all too much for you. It had been seven years, but your heart was still trying to pull itself together after the disastrous storm that was your last failed attempt at love. With time, the enormous wound that circled your core faded gradually, but seeing a girl that looked like her or reading her name hurt nevertheless. Your friends had stayed by your side, holding you when you were falling apart in the worst possible ways, and eventually, when the pain became too much for your being, you moved to New York to start a new life. Your career skyrocketed, but you couldn't say the same about your love life. You were damaged, and nobody craves something that is broken. 

"Your latte is here, miss,"

The waitress's monotonous voice brought you back to the real world, leaving the past behind your back as you smiled at her gratefully. Sitting by yourself at a quiet and cozy bar in New York City, you stared out the window and sipped your milky coffee slowly. Before leaving your apartment this morning, you had put your raven notebook inside your purse just in case inspiration wanted to pay you a visit. However, if you started writing something right now in this terrible state of mind, you would only write about the dark and obscure things that Dianna's eyes had held in the past. All you needed was just a little bit of sunshine to make your day a little bit brighter.

"A hot chocolate, please,"

The voice sounded eerily familiar for your alerted ears and when you slightly tilted your head towards the wooden counter of the bar, you couldn't believe your eyes. 

"Karlie?" the name slipped out of your mouth in a faint whisper, and immediately the girl with those beautiful jade green eyes turned around to meet your slightly paralyzed face. The corner of her lips turned upwards in the smallest of smiles, thanking the barman when he lent her the cup of hot chocolate. She casually walked over to your table and you couldn't help but stare at her angelic face. 

"Taylor?" she sounded surprised to see you, but since you were her favorite author, it was probably because she couldn't believe she'd meet her idol twice in a week. "What a small world," she let out a chuckle, pointing to the booth across yours with her index finger as she asked timidly, "Can I seat here?"

"Of course you can," you replied almost too quickly, delighted to see her features once again as your mind had been occupied by thoughts of her all morning. "It's so nice to see you again, Karlie," you smiled, placing both of your forearms on top of the table, leaning a little forward to get a better view of her sparkling eyes.

"Oh," she blushed slightly. "I'm surprised you even remember my name," she laughed, shyly tucking a strand of brunette locks behind her ear. The action made your smile grow.

"How could I forget?" you said. Your friends always said you had this charismatic energy surround you, and that that was probably why you had hooked up with so many women in the past four years. Your voice is gentle and low, your smile charming and your eyes inviting. When you had these three characteristics on, women couldn't resist you, and you don't blame them. 

"I can't believe that I'm having coffee with my favorite writer," she gushed, looking down at her chocolate. "This week has been so crazy, I don't even know what to say,"

"Well," you began, leaning back in your seat and letting out a soft sigh. "You could start by talking about yourself. You seem like a good and funny person, I'd like to know you better, if that's okay with you," 

Karlie was beyond flustered upon hearing your words, and you wanted nothing more than lean forward and kiss her cute button nose. Don't ruin everything, Swift. Just try to build a friendship with this beautiful creature, you'll never obtain nothing more than that. You frowned lightly at your negative thoughts. Of course you were falling for this girl, who's also a fan of yours and could even be underage, for all you know. Of course love was attracting you towards this gorgeous girl. Of course you had to fall in love at the wrong time. 

"You want to be my friend?"

I want to be so much more. "Of course I want to be your friend. Just because I have bestselling books doesn't mean I can't create a friendship with you, who also happens to be one of my hardcore fans," 

Her shoulders shook lightly with laughter. "If this is a dream, I don't ever want to wake up,"

"This isn't a dream, darling," you replied, amused by her blushing cheeks and widened eyes. "Come on, tell me about yourself. I'm curious,"

"Alright," she said. "What do you want to know?"

"How old are you?" 

"I'm 22." you let out a sigh in relief, realizing that she isn't underage.

"Do you have any brothers or sisters?"

"Nope. I'm an only child,"

"Favorite color?"

"Lavender,"

"Favorite food?"

"I'm vegetarian, and I don't have a favorite food," she chuckled.

"Alright. What about animals? What's your favorite?"

"I used to live in a farm, so I had lots of animals, I like all of them, but if I had to choose, probably dogs,"

You slumped your shoulders in disappointment. "What about cats?"

"I'm not a big fan," the forced smile on her face reinforced her statement. 

"Too bad, I wanted you to meet my two cats."

"Really?"

"You said you didn't like cats, what is the big excitement for?" you said dryly. 

"I like them! I just – I wouldn't want them to live in my house. That's all,"

You hummed unconvinced. "Next question. You said you lived in a farm. When did you come to New York City?"

"I actually just moved here, so, like, I don't know anything about this city,"

"Then we'll have to fix this in the future," you replied with a smile. "I'll be happy to be your tour guide, if you want,"

"Thank you so much," she blushed. "I'd really need someone to lead me around this Big Apple,"

"Of course," you replied happily. "What's your favorite movie genre?"

"Horror. I love watching horror movies. The jump scares, the adrenaline. It makes me feel alive,"

You're literally staring at her as she gushed about her favorite horror film for the next five minutes, and of course you didn't hear a thing about what she had said. 

"Why did you move here?" you asked.

Her face got incredibly darker at the same time a cloud covered the sun outside. "My mother used to hit me. Said she couldn't believe she had made a brainless girl like me," she lowered her face, playing with the spoon inside her cup of hot chocolate.

"I'm sorry," you frowned. 

"It's okay. It's over now. At first it was hard, really, but I recently found a good job and the pay is good, so it's all okay now," she shrugged, obviously uncomfortable. 

"You don't have to talk about it if you don't want to," you placed your hand over her arm, trying to console her, however her gaze is lost and her mind is probably elsewhere.

"You know, when I was younger and I still lived with my mother, the only escape I had were your words. Your books helped me in my darkest days and I couldn't be more grateful. I can never thank you enough for what you did to me with your words," 

Even though you've heard these words from other fans before, hearing them from Karlie made them more meaningful. 

You looked down at your empty cup of milky coffee and smiled. "Thank you, Karlie," you said with honesty. You stare at one another for a long time and when the intensity in your eyes probably became too much for her to handle, she tilted her head towards the window to stare at the unusually calm New York City's streets. Just as your eyes wondered lower until they reached her jawline, you noticed a faint bruise decorating the base of her neck. Sudden and crimson rage flowed through your veins, making you clench your teeth and grip the cup a little tighter than usual. Not wanting to alert the girl, you tried to speak without unveiling your frenzy. "How did you discover me?"

She turned towards you, a little caught off guard by the unexpected question. "It's a funny story, actually," she chuckled, and you adored the little sparks lightening up the constellations inside her green eyes. "My English teacher used to give to my class reading tasks. Once, she gave us a book to read, and when I was younger I really hated reading, with all my heart, but maybe it was because the books she chose were really boring and uneventful. Anyway, this book, your book, was strangely a modern novel, so I gave it a try. I'm really grateful I did, because otherwise I wouldn't be here, having this conversation with you," you shared a laugh at that. "So, after I read that book, I decided to look up the author, and that was when I discovered my passion for you,"

"I turned your hate for books into love at first sight, apparently," you laughed sarcastically.

"Yeah, you did," her eyes sparkled and you felt yourself falling quickly for this girl. Was it possible for someone to fall in love so deeply and so swiftly with the shape of someone's eyes? Or the perfect crookedness of their pearly white teeth? "Do you believe in that?"

"In what?"

"Love at first sight. Do you believe in that?"

Her question made your heart flip inside your chest, and you quickly looked down at your fiddling hands, a strange nervousness settling at the pit of your stomach. "Actually, I believe in love. I want to believe that somewhere around the world, there is someone who will love me enough to make me appreciate even my biggest flaws." 

She stared at you for a moment, her gaze lost. "You should write a book about it," Karlie blushed slightly as you tilted your head sideways, not understanding her statement. 

"What?" you asked laughing. 

"I think you should write a book about that type of love when you'll find it."

"If I'll ever find it," you chuckled hopelessly.

"You will. Believe me,"

You stare thoughtfully at her. She seemed clueless by the gravity of her statement, as she finished her drink silently and didn't look at you once. "I hope you're right," you mumbled in a faint whisper, avoiding the burning question inside her eyes. You knew she wanted to ask you why you were so hopeless when it came to love, however that's an inquiry you'll answer later on. 

"Shoot," she exclaimed suddenly, getting up from her spot and staring down at her watch with a panicked look. "I promised my roommate that I'd come home by five. It's half past five."

Just when her eyes met yours, a thunder was heard outside. You both tilted your heads sideways, surprised to see a few raindrops falling quickly and melting into the streets as if it were cheese. 

"Great. I don't even have an umbrella," she whined, picking her bag up with a frown decorating her angelic features. Think fast, Swift. 

"Maybe I can give you a ride home?"

Your voice was awkwardly high pitched, and you cleared your throat so as to get it back to normal. She seemed surprised by your proposition, but after some convincing, she agreed happily, a delighted and grateful smile plastered on her face. You got up and paid your drinks, before turning around and heading outside, ready to face the storm that had decided to fall upon New York City so unexpectedly. She covered her bare arms with her hands and you hesitated. _Should I offer her my jacket?_ Was it too cliché? 

_Oh, fuck it._

"Here, take my jacket," you said, quickly pulling out your arms from the warm clothe so as to hand it to her. She tried to refuse, but you swiftly thrusted it into her chest, not wanting to hear no as an answer. 

"Thank you," she replied sheepishly, placing it over her shoulders. Before you know it, you arrived at your car. In a hurry, you opened the passenger seat's door for her, a timid smile playing at her lips as you run around the car to reach the other side. Once safely inside, you both let out a sigh of relief, raindrops streaming down both of your heads and your clothes soaked. 

"I'm sorry, I probably ruined your evening," she said with shameful jade green eyes.

You started the engine, a light smile turning upwards your lips. "Don't worry about it. It's the least I could do," you replied. "So. Where do you live?"

She told you her address and you nodded, setting up your gps before venturing into the now busy streets of New York City. There's a comfortable silence floating around the inside of the car, and sometimes you caught yourself daring to look at her sneakily. Her profile is as perfect as an ancient Greek sculpture; from her cute button nose to her thin kissable lips. You cleared your throat uncomfortably as you had just imagined yourself leaning towards her and kissing the soft skin right beneath her left eye. 

Fortunately, you arrived at six o'clock in front of a small but adorable apartment with a tiny balcony on the front. "Here we are," you said with a sigh, looking at your side to face her nervous but grateful smile.

"Thank you so much, Taylor," 

Not knowing what to say, you simply replied with, "You're very welcome, darling,"

"I hope to see you around," she stated, before opening the door and getting out of the car. You watched her as she neared the front door of her apartment. Once she was inside safely, you started the engine to finally go back home. However, as you looked down at yourself, you realized two things.

She never gave you your jacket back and you never got her phone number. 

 

\---------------------------------------------------------

 

 

You received an email from Karlie on the first day of October. 

You had been replying to a few business emails, some asking you when your next book was coming, since your readers and general public were becoming impatient. To those kind of emails you just replied with, "You can't craft art out of nowhere. You have to be patient with me.". Some, instead, were coming from your friends, asking you how you were feeling after you've heard the news. When reading one from your childhood friend Amanda, you pursed your lips at the reminder; Dianna was getting married. To a man, precisely. Amanda told you that she was deeply sorry, warning you that your ex-girlfriend and her fiancé were getting married this late November. 

_[From: taylorswift13_

_To : itsamandaa_

_Hey Am,_

_You don't have to be sorry. I don't miss her one bit. She hurt me deeply in the past, I will forever be hurt by her actions, but you know what they say. What's past is past. I'm glad she's finally found someone to spend the rest of her life with, but I really don't care about her. Thank you for telling me, though. How are you? We haven't seen each other in ages, girl! I hope we'll be able to see each other real soon, I miss your ugly face._

_Just kidding._

_I love you, Am. Thank you for being such an incredible friend to me._

_Love, Taylor]_

You sighed as you leaned back against the chair, rubbing your face with both of your hands. Talking about Dianna made you feel frustrated. Something about that name made you kind of angry. Just when you were about to shut the laptop and go to sleep, the computer beeped with a new message. You opened your eyelids tiredly, however your laziness went out of the window as soon as you saw the sender's name. 

_[From: karlieklossgiraffe03_

_To: taylorswift13_

_Hi Taylor,_

_You won't probably read this because it will probably get lost within your emails since you're one of the most famous writers in the world, so. But if you are reading this, please don't ignore me if you remember me. I'm Karlie. That weird fan you met twice in September. Precisely last week. Anyway, I just wanted to tell you that I still have your jacket from that rainy day, and as much as I'd like to keep it (What perfume do you wear?), I think it's fair to give it back to you. You know my address, so if you'd like to pay me a visit sometime this week, I'd be grateful._

_I hope you're doing good and that I didn't ruin your night._

_With love,_

_Karlie]_

Your mouth hung open as you read the email over and over again. When you finally decided to reply to the girl, your mind was still thinking about that question between those brackets. She basically admitted that I smell good, right? And, was that flirting? You rubbed your forehead nervously, beginning to slowly type an answer.

_[From: taylorswift13_

_To: karlieklossgiraffe03_

_Hi Karlie,_

_I have to admit that I'm glad that my jacket is safe and sound. Thank you for keeping it safe in your apartment. I'd really like to get it back, thank you for being so thoughtful. I'd love to pay you a visit tomorrow, if that's fine by you. I would say in the afternoon, but as soon as I'll be free I'll be at the doorstep of your apartment. Thank you so much._

_P.s. The perfume is Santal Blush by Tom Ford_

_Love, Taylor]_

You cringed at your horrible flirting techniques. However, you hit send before you could think about it twice, and not even ten minutes later you received her response. 

 

You smiled at her funny humor. Even though you knew she was an amusing person, you couldn't help but find yourself grinning like an idiot at your laptop screen for at least ten minutes. That night, you went to sleep with the thought of jade green eyes and a smile that could light up the entire New York City.

 

\---------------------------------------------------

 

Of course it had to rain.

As you stood outside her porch, you rubbed your trembling and wet hands against the soft fabric of your dark jeans. You wiped your Nikes against the colorful footplate, your fist knocked twice at her door. A faint voice was heard from the other side of the door, informing you that the girl that owned the place was coming. The door was thrusted open as a slightly out of breath brunette woman stood in front of you, a smile tugging at her lips as she took in your simple outfit; dark jeans and white blouse. 

"Taylor! Come in, I don't want you to get sick," she said worriedly, as she grabbed your wrist and dragged you inside before you could utter a word. "I'm sorry for the weather, you didn't have to come, given the conditions outside," 

"Oh, shut up, I wanted to see you," you replied a little too readily. You sat down on the sofa in the middle of the small living room, as she busied herself with the fireplace. You caught a glimpse of a light blush on her cheeks, and thanks to that you didn't cringe as much as you would normally do at such a remark. 

"Are you cold? Do you want a blanket? A chocolate?" 

You stared at her for a whole minute, a smirk playing at your lips as her cheeks grew a darker shade of red. "Chocolate is fine, thank you, Karlie," you answered softly, loving the sweet taste of her name on the tip of your tongue. She exited the room and probably went to the kitchen, leaving you alone with the sound of the fire cracking and the booming of the thunders outside. You took this chance to look around yourself, stopping whenever you saw a frame picturing the brunette woman with friends and, probably, her family. She had a dog, a cute and little one you must say, and just a few friends. You noticed that in the only family pictures that were present in this room, just one thing was missing from them. Her mother. One particularly caught your eye; a tall man holding Karlie in his arms as two other girls, surrounded them with the warmth of their smiles. The brunette woman appeared to have the most genuine smile plastered on her face, her eyes crinkling a little at the side. Only one word came up to your mind to describe this picture; sunshine. Pure, bright sunshine. 

"Taylor?"

Startled, you turned around swiftly and faced the other woman. "Yeah?"

"I wanted to give you your cup but you seemed interested in something else," Karlie chuckled as she handed you your hot chocolate. She looked over at the shelf where the picture you've been staring at stood, and she frowned a little. "That's my family," she mumbled quietly, sitting beside you. You gulped lightly when the warmth coming from her thigh, so close to yours yet so far. "My two best friends and my father. They still live at the farm."

You gave her a sympathetic smile, watching sadly as the light in her eyes vanished slightly. "I haven't heard from them in...months," she sounded a little disappointed as well as bittersweet, her chin facing the floor as she looked down at her steaming cup of hot chocolate. "I've been feeling so lonely lately, with moving here and actually realizing that for the first time in my life, I'm physically alone,"

"You're not alone," you said quickly, your brows furrowed. "You have me."

She looked up surprised at the remark, a spark lightening up her jade green eyes as they stared right into yours. "Really?"

"I'm your friend. I want to be your friend, Karlie," you explained to the still bewildered girl. She smiled as soon as her name came out of your mouth.

"Thank you. Never in my life I imagined you becoming my friend," she admitted shyly.

"Well, believe it or not, we're friends now," you chuckled. "Which actually reminded me I have to give you my number, so you can call me whenever you need someone to talk to or just..." you paused, her eyes expectant. "Or just need to hear my voice."

She stared at you for a moment, a warm glint dancing within the constellations of her green eyes. When she leaned closer to you, your heart beating rapidly against your ribs, she placed her head on your shoulder, her nose and breath tickling the soft skin of your neck. The light sound of the rain filled the silence, and after placing the cup on the little table of glass in front of you, you casually wrap an arm around the small of her back, bringing her just a little bit closer, close enough to intoxicate yourself with her sweet perfume. "I don't want you to feel alone ever again. Alright?" you spoke against the crown of her head.

You felt her nod against your shoulder, her body completely relaxing into your embrace. You held her tightly all night, and you don't know how it happened, but you ended up cuddling on the sofa, her head laying on your chest as your arms stayed wrapped around her back.

That night, you returned home with your jacket (which now smelled of Karlie), her number, and a heart full of love and everlasting adoration for a girl you've known for just a week.

 

\---------------------------------------------------------------------

 

You told her about Dianna in the worst way possible.

It was late, the stars hung high in the sky over your heads and you were walking side by side on a deserted sidewalk. The smile has been printed on your face since she walked inside your apartment today, and there was nothing that could have made it disappear. Or, so you thought. It had been about two months since you met her at the supermarket, and you realized half way that your friendship was one of a kind. She was gentle, lovely, shy, kind. She was everything you've ever wanted from a woman. She's what you've been searching for your whole life. But of course, you couldn't tell her. Although the thought of kissing her, of holding her hand and being in a romantic relationship with her seemed inviting, having her as a friend was more than enough for you. 

"It's finally midnight!" she exclaimed, throwing her hands up in the air enthusiastically. "That means that in about two weeks it's your birthday!"

That stopped you. The grin on your face almost vanished, and when she noticed that you weren't walking by her side anymore, she turned around to face you with the most confused look across her face. "Two weeks?" you asked, your voice barely audible. A cold breeze blew between your bodies, huge, dark clouds covering the moon above your heads; it was about to rain. But wasn't the sky clear seconds ago? When did the time pass so fast?

"Yeah. It's Sunday," Karlie answered your question despite her puzzlement. 

"What day is it?"

The woman checked her phone to reply. "It's the 28th of November. Why? What's wrong?"

Your world started spinning and it was then that the words from your friend's email sounded throughout your mind. Dianna was getting married. Today. To a man. Why did she have such an effect on you? Why would your whole mood take a turn for the worst? Why were you suddenly feeling angry, disappointed and sad? This night had been fantastic, from Karlie's jade green eyes to the moment your hand had briefly touched hers. You thought that nothing could have stopped you from being happy tonight. But you were so wrong. And so sad. To such an extent that your eyes watered with crappy tears, and the sudden urge to run back home and be in the loneliness of your apartment was more tempting than staying here, in the middle of the sidewalk, with no one around but Karlie. 

"Taylor? Are you okay? What's wrong?" she asked again and you hated the concern lacing her voice. You hated it so much.

You shook your head, not meeting her eyes as you started walking again, but not to continue your night with the girl. You walked past her, your shoulders bumping briefly as you started to head home. She called out your name once again, more desperately this time, and fortunately it was late and nobody was there to witness the scene you were causing. You walked across the street, a few raindrops finally falling on the ground and on your hair, but soon, thin fingers were delicately wrapping around your slim wrist to halt your movements, along with the words, "Why are you like this? What happened? What's wrong, Taylor?!"

You broke free from her tight grasp, your arm flying up in the air as you turned around to briefly yell in her face, "It's none of your fucking business, okay?!". She seemed surprised by your outburst, but most of all, hurt. And you hated to see that look on her face, but you couldn't stand being here. You needed to get home. To be alone with yourself and your horrible thoughts. "Go home, Karlie. Just go home and leave me the fuck alone," 

You didn't give her the time to react. You walked home as fast as you could, and you left a hopeless and sorrowful Karlie Kloss behind your back. It seemed that an angel had started crying with the young woman, because as soon as you left her, the sky had begun crying with her.

 

\--------------------------------------------------------------------

 

_Stupid._

_Stupid. Stupid. Stupid. Stupid._

These were the only words echoing within the walls of your conflicted brain as you ran as fast as possible towards her apartment, the rain pouring down soaking your clothes. You didn't care that you looked like a wet rat right now, all you cared about was apologizing to Karlie and tell her everything. Why you left so suddenly and why you acted like a jerk. No more secrets. No more hiding. 

"Fuck," you mumbled to yourself as a thunder made the sidewalk shake slightly. You hated storms. You hated the rain. You have always been afraid of them, but you never told anyone. Tonight was no different. But the love you've grown for the other woman was enough to carry your legs towards her apartment. You almost tripped when you got a glimpse of her well decorated balcony. You stopped in front of her porch and knocked loudly. Tears were streaming down your face, but halfway through your run, they got mixed with the raindrops. The only sign that would tell Karlie that you've been crying for the past hour and a half were the bloodshot and swollen eyes. 

When nobody answered, you knocked once again. "Please, Karlie, open the door! I'm sorry!" you exclaimed, hoping she could hear you over the deafening sound of the thunders. 

Soon enough, the door opened and you came face to face with a saddened Karlie. Your heart hurt at the sight, and you wanted nothing but engulfed her in your arms, hold her in there forever and protect her from all the evil of the world. 

"What are you doing here, Taylor?" she asked quietly and her voice cracked slightly. 

"God, I'm so fucking stupid Karlie. I'm so sorry, this is all my fault," you wept, covering your face with your hands as a fresh wave of tears flooded your blue eyes. "I'm so fucking sorry, I'm sorry. I don't want you to be sad because of me. I don't want to see you sad. God, this is all my fault," you sobbed. 

Her soft voice reached your ears. "It's okay. Come in, please," you looked at her desperately, your bottom lip trembling as two tears rolled down your cheeks. When you didn't move, she repeated, "Please, Taylor. Come in and we can talk,"

She stepped aside to let you in, and as soon as the door was closed behind you, she turned you around to face her and wrapped her arms around your back, although you were soaked from your head to your toes. You hugged her back, finally letting the tears wet your face once again as you hooked your elbows beneath her shoulders. The height difference made you tilt your chin upwards, placing it in the crook of your neck as the quiet sound of your sobs filled the rather calm leaving room of her apartment. "Karlie," you cried. "I'm so sorry. I'm so fucked up, you don't understand," 

"No, I don't understand, you're right," she said, pulling away slightly to look you in the eyes. She wiped your tears away, her soft thumbs grazing the wet skin of your cheeks. "But I want to, Taylor. I want to understand, because I'm your friend, and you're my friend, and I want to see you happy."

You closed your eyes at the last sentence, your bottom lip trapped between your teeth as you breathed heavily. She rubbed your back for minutes, waiting for you to calm down, and when you did, she dragged you towards her bedroom and laid you down on top of the covers. She gave you dry and comfortable clothes to change in, and you weren't ashamed or embarrassed when she was the one to take off your garments. Once fully clothed, she kissed your forehead softly and pushed you against the mattress. Karlie laid down on her side and threw a long arm around your abdomen, which rose up and down rhythmically now. The rain outside had calmed down and you were grateful for it. 

"How are you feeling?" she asked in the quietness of the bedroom. Karlie kissed your cheek lightly and you fought the urge of turning around and colliding your lips with hers. You felt her stare bore a hole in the side of your head as she waited for an answer.

"I don't know," you replied truthfully, your voice high pitched. She held you more tightly, probably sensing your discomfort at her inquiry. "I just, I want to tell you why I reacted that way and why I ran away so suddenly," you added quietly, looking down at her expectant jade green eyes. You realized you were probably too close as soon as she spoke and her breath tickled your cheeks, but you didn't mind. You loved the closeness of your bodies, of your faces, even though you couldn't close the gap. 

"I'm here," she whispered softly, grazing her fingers against the side of your face. You've never felt more loved before. The warmth coming from her loving touch, the patient gaze, the hold around your abdomen, as if she was afraid of letting you go. As if she were afraid of losing you. "You can tell me anything. Good or bad, I'm here,"

You nodded. "I..." you began, your voice trembling slightly. "I have been in two serious relationships. The first one was...well, the first one was okay, actually. We were inexperienced and young, we knew it couldn't last forever. But the second one was...it was..." you pursed your lips together as you felt your eyes water. "I like girls. Well, um, I mean, I like women. My parents, especially my father, weren't really supportive of my sexual orientation, in fact he was the one that told me to break up with my first girlfriend. But...when the second girlfriend came around, it wasn't my family that divided us. It was..." you stopped to take a deep breath, a single tear rolling down your cheek, but Karlie wiped it before it could reach your lips. "It was devastating. I never recovered from it. She was sweet, kind, gentle. She was everything, my everything, but apparently I wasn't hers. I thought that she was the one for me. My mom was even supportive of us. She was the woman I would marry, but I was so, so wrong. One night, I came home earlier than usual, and I found her...she was in bed with another woman. Her lips were on my girlfriend's neck and when I stormed out I couldn't stop picturing it," you cried. "The next day, my girlfriend and I met up to talk and she...she broke up with me. Because she was already in another relationship."

Karlie shushed you as sobs broke through the calm of the room. "It's okay," she whispered in your ear. "I've got you,"

"But that isn't it. We broke up, like, years and years ago. It's been awhile so I thought that I was over her, over us. But then, months ago I received an email from my friend. She told me that my ex-girlfriend was getting married at the end of November, to a man, and then, when tonight you told me what day it was..."

Karlie seemed to understand where this was going, so she finished the sentence for you. "You freaked out because she's getting married today," she said quietly. You nodded once again and she embraced you in the warmest hug ever. She pushed your body on top of hers and you cried with your head in the crook of her head. "I'm sorry, Taylor. I'm so sorry," she apologized, her voice whispered against your ear sent shivers along your spine. 

"I don't know why I'm still affected. That's why I told you that I'm hopeless when it comes to love," you mumbled against her skin. She kissed your cheek at that and held you closer, if that was even possible, and you felt safe. 

"You have the right to be. I don't know what it feels like to be cheated on and the only thing that I know is that you probably feel really insecure. You feel like you can't trust anybody like that again, but I promise that someday, someone will make you feel happy and confident. You will find that person, I believe that. I really do," she said firmly, kissing your forehead. You loved the feeling of her lips on your skin, and you closed your eyes every time her mouth came in contact with your flesh.

"Thank you," your words molded with the skin of her neck and your lips twitched upwards when you noticed the slight goosebumps covering her flesh. 

"Just close your eyes. It will be all over tomorrow," she said. You did just that, and with the sound of her soft voice chasing away the demons of your dreams, you fell into a deep and peaceful slumber.

 

\-----------------------------------------------

 

You always told her everything from that day.

There were no more secrets between you. She knew everything about you and you knew everything about her. The day before your birthday she spent the night at your apartment, but due to an unexpected blizzard, she had to stay three more days at your house. Not that you minded, though. Spending as much time with her as humanly possible was all you've ever wanted. At this point you even forgot that she's one of your biggest fans in the whole wide world, so she still freaked out a little when you asked her if she could read a short novel you've written at the start of December. She was delighted to be the first one to read an unpublished piece of yours, and you had just answered with, "You're special to me," to which she replied with just a crimson red blush covering her adorable cheeks. 

So everything was okay. You kept your promise about telling her every single thing, good or bad, you told her everything.

Actually, almost everything.

You never told her that you were in love with her. God, you had thought, she would freak out, and not in the good way. You would mentally slap your face when you would find yourself on the verge of saying those three words, which held more meaning than you thought. At first, you thought that this was just a crush, that you felt this way because she was being so nice, but in the end, you recognized that it was love. Pure, golden and gentle love. It had been a long time since you've fallen this hard for someone, the last person being Dianna. After her, you remember promising yourself you would never go through that again. But, as a writer and someone who observes the world for a living, you knew that you couldn't escape love. It was like running away while being inside a never ending maze. So you just let it come to you. You fell for Karlie slowly, gently. Deeply. 

So it wasn't a surprise when, one day, you found yourself in your office, in front of your computer, beginning to type down the story of a love that you knew would never be reciprocated, but God, did you hope you were wrong.

 

\--------------------------------------------------------

 

With January, snow came along. 

Your love for her hadn't subsided one bit, not even with the New Year, and every second, every minute you spent with her, you just fell harder and harder and harder. 

She plopped down on the sofa, sitting beside you as a sigh slipped past her thin lips. "I'm so tired," she mumbled, her eyes closed. You lost yourself in her beauty for a moment, before realizing you should probably say something back.

"Why's that?" you asked with a smile gracing your features.

"I didn't get a lot of sleep tonight,"

"Why? Couldn't sleep?"

"Yeah," she seemed distant, like her mind was elsewhere, and you just decided to not get further with the questions. A frown had made its appearance on her face and you offered her some of the cookies you've just finished baking together. 

"Want one?"

She looked down at the delicious food and grinned. "You always know how to cheer me up," she answered, taking the offered cookie and putting it in her mouth. That attracted a lot of attention to her mouth, and as your eyes lingered for a second on her kissable and thin lips, you had to shake your head lightly and avert your stare before you could do something really, really stupid. "I was thinking about something," she added, her words muffled.

"Don't talk with your mouth full. It's rude," you interrupted her before bursting out laughing as she turned around with a dazed look on her face. 

"Sorry," she swallowed the food before continuing. "I was thinking about a road trip."

"A what?" you asked chuckling. 

"A road trip."

"What is that?"

"Oh my God, you're so old! You don't know what a road trip is?" she questioned in disbelief, her eyes wide.

"I know what a road trip is, I was just messing with you. Besides, I'm not old, I'm just 28 years old," you smiled, loving how the faint light of the sun outside highlighted the jade in her green eyes. "Well, and what about it?"

"I was going to ask if you'd like to go on one," she explained, and she seemed a little hesitant now. "With me,"

Your smile grew at that. "Really? You would spend four or five days on the road with me?" 

"I would spend the rest of my life with you, on the road or not," she answered quietly with a fond smile, and that caught you off guard. The grin, the stare, the eyes. Everything about this moment caught you off guard, and if it weren't for your cat sneezing right beside the sofa, you would have done something really stupid. 

"I'm really grumpy in the mornings," you replied, and you were surprised at hearing yourself so out of breath. 

"I know, and I don't care. I just want to get out of this town and drive away from the crowds," she said, looking down at her fidgety fingers. 

"Of course, darling," you said softly, placing your hand over hers to calm down her nerves. "When do you wanna go?" 

"As soon as possible, if you're free," she replied readily.

"Then let's pack our bags. What are we waiting for?"

 

\------------------------------------------------------

 

You never expected to take your road trip this far and actually visit the West Coast instead of the East Coast. You always dreamed of going to California and explore those long and dangerous roads. A sense of freedom overtook your senses as you gazed outside the window, your hands gripping tightly the steering wheel as you saw a wave crash into the rocks by the ocean. It was majestic. The sun setting. The seagulls flying above your black SUV as they filled your ears with the soft sounds coming from their beaks. And, of course, the beautiful and precious girl sleeping beside you on the passenger side. You didn't know how it was possible for a human being to be this beautiful, this cute and this adorable. The pouting lips forming a frown, the furrowed brows, the light snores coming out of her nose gently. You shook your head with a smile as Karlie mumbled unintelligible words, slightly shifting in her sleep. "Such a cute little human being," you heard yourself whisper over the faint sound of the radio. 

"Thanks," she mumbled and you almost hit the brakes as you didn't expect her to be awake. 

"You're awake?" you asked, a light blush forming on your cheeks as you kept your stare trained on the deserted road. 

"Yep," she smiled, stretching her limbs as much as she could. "Are we there yet?"

"Yeah," you answered, seeing a motel's sign. You hoped there would still be available rooms since it was almost 7pm. As you parked the car right in front of the inn's entrance, you turned off the engine and looked at her expectantly. "Here we are."

"We're sleeping in a motel?"

Disappointment flooded through your veins. "Yeah, why?"

"I thought that we were sleeping in the car," she chuckled. You smiled at that. 

"No, my back would hurt all day if I sleep in the car again," you replied quickly. The first day of your road trip was actually yesterday, but it was all spent on the road and actually getting here at California. Today, you visited some gorgeous beaches, you hiked, you went for a swim in the ocean and spent most of the afternoon at a café near the motel you were going to sleep in tonight. 

You walked in the inn and found a rather chirpy receptionist, as she waved excitedly at the both of you. We must be her first clients. "Hello, we'd like to know if there's still an available room. We're two." 

She smiled at you and looked down at the monitor of her computer, searching for what you're looking for. However, a small frown appears on her face. "I'm sorry, girls, but I just have two separate rooms with a single bed in each one. Is that okay?" she looked genuinely apologetic, which was a first.

You looked at your friend, who shrugged mindlessly. "It's okay," you replied for the both of you. Why was this such a problem? Did the woman think that you and Karlie were together as in a romantic relationship? Too soon, the receptionist gave you the keys to your rooms and wished you a goodnight. You thanked her, and together you went looking for your rooms as you carried your bags with you. 

"We have room 15 and room 18. We're not even that close," you muttered as you analyzed the distance between the chambers. 

She seemed to sense your disappointment, and proposed, "Well, you can spend some time in my room, until we don't go to sleep, if you want," 

You stared at her for a moment before nodding briefly. "Are you sure you're not tired? You drove a lot today," 

"I'm okay, don't worry about me,"

You headed towards her room, number 15, after having dropped your bags at your chamber. She opened the huge glass that connected the hotel room with a small balcony. The view was amazing; the sun had already set, and the beach outside looked peaceful and quiet as waves crashed against the white sand. "This is amazing," she whispered, the sound of her voice filling your ears softly. You closed your eyes, enjoying the silence that settled between you. If this road trip was going to be filled with moments like these, then you never wanted this road trip to end. You looked at Karlie then, her face towards the ocean and colored by the shades of blue of the sea, and you loved her. You loved her with every fiber of your body. You loved her endlessly, with your whole heart, but you couldn't tell her. This friendship was fragile and delicate, and it would probably fall apart if you would tell her how you felt. 

"I'm going to sleep," you whispered suddenly, feeling a burning lump in your throat. Maybe this road trip wasn't the best decision you've ever made. Maybe this wasn't supposed to happen, because, _fuck_. Fuck, you love her. You want to kiss her. To hold her. To touch her. Fuck. 

"Are you okay?" her soave voice reached your ears when you were just about to open the door and leave before you could do something you'd regret later. But, fuck, you paused. Your hand stilled on the doorknob, and you stared at the wood of the door as you pursed your lips tightly, holding back from doing something stupid. 

_Fuck._

"No," you answered, your voice hoarse as you turned around. The moonlight filtering through the glass of the window slightly illuminated the dark room. Fuck. Fuck this. "I'm not okay," you finished, and that was it. The worst decision you've ever made. You took two long strides, crossed the chamber, and reached her unmoving body in the span of two seconds. You grabbed her face with shaking hands, you closed your eyes shut and leaned in, finally closing the gap between your lips. When your mouths collided, a surprised gasp slipped out of her and echoed throughout the room as an almost inaudible moan escaped from you instead. The kiss was everything you would ever want from a first kiss with a girl. Loving, gentle, but full of passion and lust. You parted your lips slightly to let your tongue graze her bottom lip, wanting, needing to deepen this kiss. She moaned when your tongues gently collided against one another, her hands finally gripping your sides as you continued to cup her face. You tilted your head to the side, finally deepening the kiss as your tongue explored the darkest little paradise inside of her mouth. She breathed harshly in your face, wrapping her arms around your waist and fully giving you control of the situation. You kissed her with desperation, the tip of your fingers stroking the tiny and invisible hair in her scalp as you finally lost your hands in her brunette mane. However, every kiss has an end, and it came too soon for your liking, because that meant facing her, facing the reality of a relationship that would never happen. Before pulling away, you savored the taste of her lips one last time. Disconnecting your mouth from hers, you opened your eyes just to find hers still closed. Maybe she enjoyed it?

"I'm sorry," you whispered. Her eyelids revealed her jade green eyes at that. She looked at you for a moment, before replying.

"For what?"

You wanted to say you were sorry for kissing her without her permission, but your mind had other plans and decided to expose the truth of your feelings. "For falling in love with you," 

A faint smile appeared on her features and that made you really confused. "You fell in love with me?" she asked a little surprised.

"Who wouldn't?" you didn't cringe at your attempt at being romantic, because your answer earned a breath taking, open mouthed and passionate kiss. You kissed her back, but this time gently, slowly, because you realized that maybe you had all the time in the world instead of just one night. 

"I'm in love with you, too," Karlie said after some time. "But I never expected you to fall in love with me. I never made a move because I was so scared of losing you,"

"You will never lose me," 

These words seemed to ignite something inside her, because as soon as they escaped from your mouth, the green in her eyes vanished and turned dark. Karlie leaned in again, shyly, brushing your lips lightly and not connecting them immediately. You shut your eyes, ready for another round, but the kiss never came. Just when you thought that she was reconsidering her words, soft, thin lips pressed against your full ones, catching you off guard immediately. You didn't know if she was teasing you or not, but soon, everything around you vanished, and the heat on your stomach only began to grow as you found yourself wanting more. After all, you've waited months just to do this. 

A light moan coming from her woke your primal instincts and without thinking much about it you pushed her forward until the back of her legs came in contact with the mattress, making you both stumble on top of the bed's covers. With your arms on either side of her face, you fell on top of her. You stared at her, unsure of what to do next, but she decided for the both of you and pulled you down by the waist, keeping on kissing you. All of this seemed like a dream to you. Hours ago, you never thought that you would find yourself in this situation, the girl of your dreams who happened to love you back right underneath your hot body. 

You breathed harshly in the kiss as you detached your lips from hers and connected them with the soft skin of her exposed neck. You lied your weight on her body, your legs intertwining as one of yours finished between her legs. You heard her lightly moan, but judging from the tenseness of her shoulders and the stiffness of her trembling hands gripping your forearms, something was wrong. "Taylor," she whispered, and with all your self-control you pulled away from her neck, looking down at her as you waited for her to keep on going. 

"What's wrong? Did I do something wrong?"

"No. No, it's not you. It's that..." she paused, a light blush appearing on her cheeks as she looked away from your intense gaze. Reassuringly, you stroked her cheek, telling her silently to take her time. "I've never done this,"

"It's okay if you haven't been with girls. I won't judge you," you replied with a smile.

"No, you don't understand," she said. However, when Karlie opened her mouth to speak again, you never expected to hear those words come out of her. "I'm a virgin,"

This time it was you who blushed deeply. You're so stupid. Of course she was a virgin, she's so young. "Oh," it was everything that came out of your mouth. Saying that you were shocked was an understatement. You were about to get off of her, but she kept you in place by wrapping her arms around your neck.

"It's okay," she whispered. "It's not that I don't want to do this or I don't trust you. I do trust you and I do want to do this. It's just that...I'm really nervous and I don't want to let you down,"

"You don't have to worry, baby," the pet name slipped out before you could stop it, but she seemed to enjoy it because a warm smile graced her angelic features. "Is it okay if I'll go slow? We don't have to rush. We have all the time in the world,"

She nodded and before you could say something else, she brought you down and kissed you passionately, bringing your faces as close as possible. Deciding to go slow, you took your time in exploring her mouth with your skilled tongue, tracing every corner of it as you placed your hands on her sides. When you finally kissed down the length of her long neck, you finally realized what was about to happen; you and Karlie were about to make love, in a motel room because you were in the middle of a spontaneous road trip. You were about to make her yours on a bed that was probably not large enough for both of your bodies. But it didn't sound gross or filthy or disgusting for you, it sounded romantic. Passionate. Warm. Sweet. It sounded like something you would make up for the characters in your books, but this was real life, and you realized that you would probably end up writing the story of this night in your book, too. 

Reaching her prominent sternum, your fingers wrapped easily around the hem of her black, long sleeved sweatshirt and silently asked her if you could take the garment off. She gave you her consent with a buck of her hips, the forming heat between her legs brushing against your covered abdomen. The action made you grunt lightly as you started dragging your nails up her sides until they reached her cheeks. You cupped her face with both of your hands, bringing her towards yours as you knelt between her legs. Slowly and hesitantly, you lifted the shirt and pulled it over her head, making it fall beside the bed. You were surprised to see Karlie wearing only a black lace bra underneath, because outside it was so cold, although the West Coast's weather was warmer compared to New York City's. Karlie misunderstood your admiration for hesitation, and shyly lifted her arms and covered her almost naked torso as she sat before you with her legs spread.

"Hey," you mumbled, gently gripping her wrists so as to push her arms away. "You don't need to cover yourself. You're beautiful," you said, whispering those last words with love and adoration. Despite the darkness of the room, you could still see the prominent blush forming on her sharp features. She leaned in and kissed you softly, her fingers pulling at the hem of your own sweatshirt. Without a second thought, you took off your pullover as well as the white simple shirt underneath, leaving yourself with just a bra on. You smiled a bit when you noticed that the colors matched, but she was too entranced with the new exposed skin of your body to return the smile. "You can touch me, you know," you teased, her eyes jolting upwards to meet your playful stare. While you chuckled, she ducked her head, clearly embarrassed or shy. "You don't have to be shy, sweetheart. I won't hurt you," you whispered the words against her lips as you tilted her chin upwards and brought her lips as close as possible to yours. You kissed her gently to let her get familiarized with the situation, and when she wrapped her arms around your neck to deepen the contact between your lips, you finally pulled her on your lap. You stretched your legs under her, making the position as comfortable as possible. 

You trailed your hands from the bottom of her back to her shoulder blades, caressing her skin as if she were art. Your fingers played with the clasp of her bra, and when she lightly nodded against your head to give you her consent, you quickly unhooked it and let it fall beside you, the garment eventually falling on top of the pile of the other clothes. With your heads so close, you could feel the warmth coming from her blushing cheeks and you hugged her tightly at that, making a wet path down her neck as you nibbled the skin right under her ear. Karlie moaned your name a little louder when your lips reached the valley between her breasts, your breath teasing the soft and delicate skin lightly. "Is this okay?" you whispered, your mouth centimeters away from her left breast. She gave you an affirmative whimper, and that was enough for you. You kissed the creamy flesh of her breast before gently taking one rosy nipple in your mouth, sucking lightly the sensitive skin. It felt amazing; her arms tightening their hold around your neck to pull you closer as a loud moan escaped from her pink lips. You whimpered at the feeling, holding her just a little bit closer because, God, you thought, this is heaven. If heaven was a person, then it would bore the name of Karlie Kloss. 

With hunger still flooding within your veins, you pushed her down, her back against the mattress as you knelt between her legs. She wrapped her legs around your hips, bringing you down as your mouths collided once again; you would never get tired of the luxurious taste of her lips. "Do you want me to stop?" you asked breathlessly, your fingers hooking on the belt of her jeans. You stared at one another for a moment, before she shook her head.

"Keep going, please," she sounded and looked desperate, as she lifted her hips in a frustrated manner. You kissed her lips one last time before you started your hungry path downward once again. 

For the first time, your lips reached her abdomen, and you kissed the tensed muscles with teasing lips, lightly nibbling at her belly to evoke a reaction. You succeeded, because a needy whimper filled the silence of the chamber, followed by hips bucking upwards to get as near as possible with your mouth. You moaned as you reached her slightly trembling thighs. Quickly, you unclasped your bra and threw it behind you, before hurriedly unbuttoning her jeans and sliding them off of her long and heavenly legs. You knew she wanted this to happen, but yet, her ragged breath was still a little nervous as her shy and hesitant eyes looked down at you. You stared back at her, as you asked her silently if this was really okay. If this was really what she wanted. There was no going back. 

A small smile curved her lips upwards as she nodded slowly, almost unnoticeable. You then focused on the remaining piece of cloth covering her most intimate area, and with trembling hands you dragged her panties down, finally revealing all of her being to you. You heard her whimper quietly, shifting uncomfortably as the wait was beginning to get too much for her. You dragged your lips from her knee up to the top of her thigh, dangerously close to her core as you kissed the skin there firmly. "Taylor," she moaned, tilting her head upwards. You thought you would have come undone just by the sight of her heavenly face; parted lips, eyes closed. If this was a dream, you didn't want to wake up, then. 

"Tell me if you want me to stop," you mumbled, before dragging your tongue along her center. The loudest moan of the night filled your ears, making you moan back as you applied more pressure to her sensitive skin. When you touched her for the first time, you were sure your fingertips were marked golden. She moaned your name once more, looking for something to grasp onto and ending up finding one of your hands. She held onto you tightly, as you teased her opening with the smallest of pressure. And then, as you inserted your index finger inside of her, fireworks exploded within your body. You kissed her thigh one last time, before coming back up and pressing your lips against hers as the hunger inside of you needed to be satiated. You set a slow but deep pace, stilling the finger in order to let her adjust to the new change. You felt her walls clench around your digit and that made you moan against her mouth. When you felt like she could take more, you added one more finger, and her tight walls held onto your index finger as you inserted the middle one. 

"Oh my God," she whimpered, squeezing you hand as tightly as possible. You watched her features contort from slight pain to endless pleasure as she greeted your fingers warmly. "This is so good," she moaned and you chuckled into her ear upon hearing her surprise. Of course you were good at this. If there was another thing you were good at beside writing bestselling novels, it was playing girls like a violin and make them squirm underneath you. 

Since it was her first time being this intimate with someone, she didn't last long, and soon enough her body quivered with waves of never ending pleasure, the grip on your hand becoming almost unbearable. You softly kissed her neck, and as soon as she came back from her high, you slid beside her, Karlie's face nuzzling in the crook of her neck. Her breathing turned steady and calm, and you shut your eyes as you listened to it while it melted perfectly with the sound of the waves outside. You wrapped your right arm around her shoulder, keeping her close as she circled your waist with both of her arms, your legs intertwined. 

"That was..." she paused, a small smile carving her cheeks. "I don't even know how to describe it. It felt amazing. You are amazing. I'm glad my first time was with you," 

"I'm honored," you joked, earning a light shove from her. "I loved every second of it, too, by the way."

Silence settled between the two of you, and although the bed wasn't big enough for both of your bodies (that practically meant that she was literally lying on top of you), you fell asleep anyway, feeling grateful to have the love of your life nestled between your strong arms.

 

\-----------------------------

 

Saying that the rest of the road trip was amazing is an understatement. After that intense and steamy night, things between you and Karlie were different. When she looked at you, her eyes would linger on your face more than necessary. When you were going for a walk along the shoreline, she would hold your hand tightly as if she didn't want to let go. When you were talking about everything and nothing, she would interrupt your speech with her soft and pink lips. When you had stopped at another motel for the night, she had kissed you senselessly before taking your clothes off and driving you off the edge with just her fingers. Things were different.

But you couldn't be more happier at the moment.

 

\---------------------------------------------------------------

 

As soon as you dropped her off at her apartment and came back to yours, you ran to your office with millions of different words swirling around your mind, them begging to be written on a piece of paper or on a file in a computer. When you checked the time for the first time that day, your eyes widened when noticing that you've been writing for at least seven hours and that you've probably skipped dinner. However, you were proud of your work. You blushed when thinking that this book was initially Karlie's idea, as you remembered those words said in that café months ago. You still didn't know how to name it, but you were sure it would come to you at the right time. 

As you closed the laptop, your phone buzzed with an incoming call. When seeing an unknown number, you answered anyway. _God_ , you wished you never picked up the phone when hearing the voice fill your ear. 

"Hello?"

"Taylor."

Your stomach dropped. You suddenly became wide awake, even though your eyes stung and you were really tired because of your long writing session. You couldn't believe your ears. You suddenly felt breathless as you whispered the name that made you stop believing in love. 

"Dianna?"

"It's really you, God, I thought I got the wrong number," 

"How did you get my number?" you asked, filling your voice with venom. The room started spinning suddenly and you padded to the kitchen to have something cool to drink and wet your dry throat. 

"It doesn't matter. What matters is that I've been wanting to reach out for a long time," she replied quietly. "I missed your voice," Dianna added as an afterthought. You swallowed the lump past your throat as you felt anger boil within your veins.

"Dianna," you started, licking your lips. "What do you want from me?" you questioned coldly, ignoring her last sentence. 

You heard a sigh. "I missed you. I miss you."

You stayed quiet for a moment before speaking unsteadily. "You're married."

"I'm not. I didn't show up at the wedding. I left him, Taylor. I left him for you," this caught you off guard and silenced you. You shook your head, because this was suddenly your worst nightmare coming to life. I wish Karlie was here. 

"I see you still leave people for others, Dianna," you hissed, and another sigh sounded from her part. 

"Taylor, please–"

"Don't Taylor me, _Dianna_!" you exclaimed, losing your temper for the first time. "I was fine without you, I am fine without you, Dianna. Whatever you need from me, I won't give it to you. I repeat, I'm fine. I have someone who at least cares for me, she loves me and I love her, so please, for the love of God, leave me alone,"

"You're making a big mistake," she replied, sounding indifferent to your confession of having someone. "Does she know our story?" 

You froze at that. "It's irrelevant," you replied, although your voice lacked confidence. 

"Me and you almost getting married and being engaged is irrelevant to you?" Dianna asked and you could hear the malice in her voice. You clenched your jaw, not wanting to let her win this time. 

"My whole relationship with you is irrelevant to me," you fought back, wanting to hurt her. 

"Taylor,"

"Dianna, stop. You hurt me years ago, and I won't be stupid and let you back into my life. I hate you, Dianna, so please, leave me the fuck alone. I don't need you,"

"You're making a big mistake," she repeated calmly.

"The only mistake I ever did was falling in love with you. Goodbye, Dianna," you hung up, not waiting to hear her response, and placed the phone on the countertop. You rubbed your face, feeling the tears sting your eyes although you didn't want to let them cut through your cheeks. You stayed curled up for a while, your back against the furniture as you kept on repeating the phone call with Dianna over and over again.

The next thing you knew, you were on the phone with Karlie, asking if she could come over and have dinner together.

 

\-----------------------------------------------------

 

You felt guilty.

Having sex with Karlie because you were still shaken up by your phone call with your ex-girlfriend had felt right hours ago, when you had dragged her towards your bedroom and stripped her. However, as you laid with her head on your chest and your fingers played with her now blonde hair, you felt crippling guilt eating at your stomach. 

"This is nice," she mumbled after a while. 

"What is?"

"You and me. You playing with my hair," Karlie explained with a smile you couldn't help but match. 

"Kar," the nickname she seemed to love slipped out of your mouth. "I have to tell you something,"

She tensed up beside you as she lifted her head to look at your ocean eyes. "What is it?" she was worried you were about to tell her something she wouldn't like, which was true, but it wasn't what she was thinking about.

"If you're thinking I'm going to break up with you, you're totally wrong, baby. You don't have to worry," you reassured her softly. "It's just...something about my past with Dianna that you should know about," 

She nodded, laying her arms on your chest to place her chin on top of her crossed hands. 

"Me and Dianna...we were engaged. For a little while. She proposed to me months before she cheated on me, and I think she did that to reassure me that there was nobody else. But then, I caught her with someone else and I broke off our engagement," you said quietly and calmly, staring at her to catch her reaction. You didn't know if you should tell her about the phone call that happened hours ago, though.

"Well..." she started. "I'm glad you told me but...why didn't you tell me sooner?" there's a hint of accusation on her tone. 

"I'm sorry, but I wanted to forget her, and talking about her and our relationship still hurts," you reasoned and she nodded once again. 

"Thank you for telling me, though," she said after a while, kissing your neck softly. You held her a little bit closer, placing your lips on the top of her head. "I love you,"

"I love you, too. More than anything else."

 

\--------------------------------------------------------------------

 

You spent Valentine's Day together. In the afternoon you went bowling, and you loved every second of it. From her beginner's luck to her pouty lips when it turned out you were still better than her and won the match. You took her out for dinner, inviting her to a candle lit one at the most prestigious restaurant of New York City. She loved it, and you loved how her jade green eyes sparkled under the dim light of the rose flavored candle sitting between you. You talked about everything and nothing, never running out of topics to talk about, and you even confessed her you were writing a novel about your love story. She blushed deeply, intertwining your fingers and placing them on the table. The biggest smile formed on your lips at the gesture. 

When you returned at your place, she dragged you towards your bedroom and ordered you to sit at the edge of the bed. She was really nervous, you could tell that from her clammy hands, but you never expected to find black lingerie under her dress, as she took it off teasingly slow in front of you. Although she had never done something like this for somebody, you still liked the effort, as she sat on your lap and kissed you deeply. She pinned your hands to the mattress as she straddled your hips, taking her time in rubbing her pelvis against your abdomen, creating a teasing friction between your bodies that made you moan quietly. It was something unexpected, but at the end of the night, when you laid down, both breathless, you had loved every second of it. 

 

\-----------------------------------------------------

 

Your first argument happened on a rainy day of July. 

It was something stupid at first, but turned serious when the mention of that silly phone call with your ex-girlfriend happened months ago slipped out of your mouth. She looked at you, speechless.

"What?"

"It's not a big deal, you don't have to worry about anything," you quickly answered. 

"Taylor, you just said that your ex-girlfriend wants you back and told you so over a phone call. Which casually happened months ago," she said, her voice filled with venom. 

"Karlie, it's nothing. I took care of it, you don't have to worry about it,"

"Why didn't you tell me? Why did you have to keep it a secret?"

The question left you speechless and she clearly misunderstood your silence. 

"You never told me because you want to get back together with her," she said quietly, averting her eyes from yours.

"What?! What are you talking about?" you asked, not knowing where this was going. Why is she acting like this is a big deal?

"Do you want to get back together with her? Yes or no,"

Tears gathered inside your eyes but you didn't let them out yet. "I don't want her, Karlie. I want _you_ ,"

She swallowed, her own eyes watery as she turned her back to you. You stood behind her, feeling useless all of a sudden. "I love you, Karlie," you started, inching closer to her trembling body. "I would never ever get back with that piece of shit." 

"I know," she quietly mumbled. "But I still don't understand why you hid this from me,"

"Because you would have reacted this way and I didn't want to see you hurt," you replied quickly, now standing behind her. "Karlie, please, look at me," you pleaded, a single tear sliding down your cheek. "I'm sorry for making you feel this way, I truly am. I will never keep secrets from you,"

"Taylor, please, just..." she started, but a sob interrupted her speech. "Please, leave. I want to be alone right now,"

Your bottom lip trembled as you tried to caress her shoulder. "Karlie–"

" _Please_ ,"

The pleading voice convinced you, and although you hated to leave all of this behind, you picked up your things and left her apartment. That night, the both of you fell asleep with each other on your mind and tear stained cheeks. 

 

\-------------------------------------------------------------

 

September came around, and your argument about Dianna was left behind.

She forgave you in two days, and you told her sorry multiple times during the week. Your relationship got stronger from that, and you liked to compare it to a growing empire that was based on love, trust and happiness. These were the most important things for you. Seeing the happy smile on her face made you all the more happier. 

The last months of summer were spent with her almost every day and finishing your newest novel. You wanted to give it to her for your first anniversary to surprise her, and you honestly couldn't wait to witness her reaction. You knew it was going to be priceless. 

_Dinner tonight at my place? xx –K_

You smiled at the message, looking up briefly to check if the traffic light had turned green. You started typing an affirmative answer as you started crossing the street, obviously unaware of the moving car quickly coming your way. 

However, when you noticed the vehicle, it was too late for you, and your vision went black as soon as the hood of the car hit your side and made you stumble on the cold hard street of New York City. 

 

\---------------------------------------------------------------

 

The next time you opened your eyes, Karlie was looking down at you and caressing your forehead, tears wetting her cheeks. 

"I love you," it was the first thing she told you, but sadness was present in her voice. Why wasn't she happy to see you? "The doctors told me you have little time," she continued, and it was then that you noticed how difficult it was for you to breathe. Your breathing was shallow and rapid, and when you tried to speak, she shushed you. "Don't worry. It will be okay," she cried softly.

"Karlie," you whispered, your voice hoarse as you tried to hold her hand with your trembling one. "Am I dying?" you asked her.

She looked at you, briefly nodding before bursting out in tears. She placed her head in the crook of your neck, and you felt the cold tears staining your skin. "Doctors told me why, but I didn't listen to them because this is just unbelievable. I don't want you to leave me, please," 

"I love you," you said suddenly, feeling little air enter your tired lungs. "I'm sorry for everything. You don't deserve to be sad," 

"Don't leave me, please. I love you so much, more than anything," she sobbed, holding onto your hand as if you wouldn't be able to die if she held onto your hand just a little bit longer. "I want to marry you. Live the rest of my life with you,"

"I'm sorry," you repeated, feeling weak. "Karlie, look at me, please," you pleaded. She looked up, and when you met her eyes, you've never seen someone look so beautiful but broken at the same time. "You're so beautiful and I love you. I want you to remember that," you began. You asked her to lay beside you, to cuddle before you drew your last breath and she did so with such grace that a little tear escaped from your eyes, too. "The book I've been writing for the past months, I want you to read that, finish it for me and publish it, okay? Our love story needs to be remembered." she nodded, crying softly as she held your gaze. "I want you to name it euphoria, because that's what I feel whenever I'm with you. Pure and endless euphoria,"

"I love you so much, I don't want you to go," her voice was hoarse from all the crying as she wept freely against your neck. 

"Kiss me, please," 

She kissed you, trembling lips against trembling lips as the kiss tasted of salty tears and sorrow. "I wish we had more time," you confessed in between kisses. She held onto you tightly, your rapid breaths and her quiet sobs being the only thing filling the hospital room. You knew these were the last seconds you had with her, and as you realized that, you told her your last words. "I love you Karlie. I will love you forever, even if my heart will stop beating, my love for you will go on forevermore."

Quiet declarations of love were whispered against your ear by the love of your life, and a soft and sweet kiss to the forehead was the _last_ thing you felt before you fell into a never ending unconsciousness.


End file.
